ACROSS THE RIVER AND OVER THE MOUNTAINS
“When I went over the Mountains a farmer’s boy to be,
My mother wept all the morning but I thrept that I was gay”
Scottish Ballad
Around December 1925, Kaka left the luxury and salary of Rs. 300 in Ambalal Sarabhai’s Shahi Bag and crossed the river Sabarmati into Gandhiji’s Satyagraha Ashram. It was in Kaka’s mind for some time but had to wait till I was three months old. The baggage was put in a cart along with the books and I was carried in the arms. Three years later, Kaka followed by Motiba, was crossing this river for a visit to Ahmedabad City. Kaka looked back and saw that Motiba had sat down. He put her head in his lap and she passed away. It was so close to the Dudheswar Cremation grounds that she was not brought home later. As Kaka Kalelkar put it “She was the only person who ever led one’s own funeral profession”. I like to tell friends that she is my ideal as she did not wish to be dependent on anyone even after her death. She used to travel only to help out with the frequent deliveries of grandchildren. Probably that is why we had so many Nanus and Nani (Younger son or daughter) spread all over as cousins and nephews.
Even I was called Nanu as I was number two in the family. Motiba’s only desire in life was that at least her sons should own and live in their own houses; this wish was not realised during her life time or even later. Today her grandchildren are owning or living in their own houses or apartments. I still remember how tension-free we were in Gondal to live in the houses of Jatashankar Zavji Pipalia, Keshavji Fuva or Abhechand Bapuji. Kaka’s college scholarships helped to retrieve some of Motiba’s ornaments which were mortgaged to money lender.
Around 1929, Navjeevan Press could afford a horse-drawn carriage. This was sometimes offered to Kaka to commute as the press took long to deliver the proofs which had to be corrected and recorrected on the spot till at last approved. This enabled us to commute and keep out of harm’s way at home and Kaka could help Ba with some baby-sitting. In later years, Kaka was named a Trustee of the Navajeevan Trust. He used to extend his journey beyond Ahmedabad after the annual meeting to Rajkot or Jetpur to call on his friends and relatives. He tried to see as many as he could in a walk from one end of the town to another. This tapered off in later years not only because his health started failing but because Ambavibapu passed away. The last meeting of the Trust that he attended was the convocation presided over by Abdul Ghaffar Khan. Kaka called him Gandhiji’s “Avatar” and handed him a cheque.
During the years 1932-33 Kaka was touring all over the country as Gandhiji’s Secretary on the Harijan Tour. Ba set up a household for us at Walukadwala’s Chawl in Bhavnagar so that we can start some schooling. We children never realized how difficult it was to close a house and move lock stock barrel to an unknown place single handed and with small children in tow on a limited budget. We got the last, and probably the cheapest, room in the Chawl near Takhteshwar Plot. The staircase leading to the room upstairs was outside, open and accessible from the main road. One unfortunate day, when I came back from Balmandir, Ba was out. I found the upstairs room open and so was Ba’s little tin suit case. When Ba came home, she discovered that the twenty-one rupees she had kept for the remaining month’s expenses were stolen. That was the first time I saw tears of helplessness in her eyes.
Ba-Kaka used to take us by slow trains by day or night all over the country in the third class on unreserved batter seats without fans but with its noise, congestion, heat or cold, dust and dirt of the stupidest of the poor. Even in those days Kaka would tell smoking passengers that it would harm their lungs. Our scariest experience was when Kaka got down at a small station on the Kalka-Simla meter gauge hill railway to send a telegram to Shivlal Kaka (S.P.Shah, I.C.S.) who was his college friend. We had to advise him of our arrival in Simla as we were to stop with him. The train took off when Kaka was still in the telegraph office and it never occurred to the Ticket inspector or us to push the emergency chain, if any. We did not even know the address where we were to stay. At the next station, however, we happily discovered that Kaka picked up one of his chappals which had come off, ran and got into the nearest third class compartment along with the shawl around his shoulders. Kaka had orders to proceed outside “British” India as he was a “foreigner”, who said his home town was Jetpur even now. So we settled down in Sanjauli Village near Simla. Wherever we travelled our baggage included a number of small packages so that each one could lend a hand and the porterage be reduced. Even at home, we used to turn off the family lantern every night as our needs or necessities did not include a night lamp.
But our only whiff of hardship was in 1935 when Ashok was about 3 months old. We moved to Govindnagar (Takula), a village a few miles away from Naini Tal. All shopping had to be done in shoulder bags and trekked home across the footpaths up the mountain passes and down the valley. There was a day when there were no supplements to feed him in the house. At the same time, when I visited Takula years later with my children, Mathura Dutt, one of the residents told me that Ba gave him a handwoven sweater when we left and he wore it for years after that. We lived in Gandhi Mandir in Govindnagar. It was so called as Gandhiji once stayed in it on a visit and Govindlal Sah of Almora owned one side of the hill. A small building nearby was accommodating an orphanage. Boys from there sometimes ran away. One of the boys was a Dom-Harijan whom we encouraged to visit and help out and earn some pocket money. The manager of the orphanage suggested to Kaka not to pay him anything directly as pocket money might facilitate his running away! Ba kept both of them happy by paying the wages in kind also.
This reminds me of Sudha telling us how Ba kept her happy with two drops of tea in her milk after we had ruled that she can have only milk and no tea or coffee. In Poona, Ba handled five different lunch times as we had lunch according to our inclination and convenience. Kaka was the last for lunch, though he had the earliest start in the morning. When I took the 6 am Janata Train to work in Bombay on Monday mornings, Kaka used to kindle the fire-wood or the segree at 4 am to warm up my bath water.
Around 1930, Ba fell ill and had to be shifted to Vadilal Hospital in Ahmedabad and we used to live in a small room in the compound. Before that also Bapuji (Gandhiji) had suggested that Ba should fast for a few days. Ba had to stay on the verandah of a house facing the river most to the Prayer ground (which was made of the river sand. The Prayer ground was next to Gandhiji’s Quarters) so that she could be supervised and monitored. We stayed at home and Chanchalben Jhaverbhai Patel looked after us at least on one of these occasions.
Satyagrah Ashram was dissolved after 1931 and converted to Harijan Ashram run by Harijan Sevak Sangh. After this we spent some times in Bhavnagar, Simla, Naini Tal or Gondal but Kaka decided to come back to Harijan Ashram for some time to help out with his old work of writing for the Harijan, which was the new Avatar of the Navajeevan. He also edited and corrected the writing & printing. We would often accompany him into the city by walking up to Vadaj, cross the river to Dudheshwar, riding piggy-back on Kaka wherever the river had to be crossed. The river became a stream outside monsoon time but the water was clean and clear and shallow at crossing points.
Kaka did not accept the grammar and spellings (jodni) in toto of the Gujarat Vidyapith Dictionary of Gujarati as ruled by Gandhiji. In the beginning Kaka used to translate Gandhiji’s Gujarati into English (starting with the Satyagraha in South Africa) and even correct his English. When Rajkumari Amrit Kaur wanted to learn Gujarati she came to Kaka when we went to Sewagram in 1941.
Kaka had his own mind in the smallest matters of quality of life and thought. When we first went to Poona in 1940 to rent a house, Kaka did not like apartments, but decided on a bungalow with a rent of almost forty rupees. In the prison, Kaka used to spend time in reading and teaching. If writing had been allowed, he would not have written “A discovery of India” but a concise and clear paperback, which is pocket-size and sold at cost, which the poor can afford. It would suit their pocket both physically and financially. He is probably the only person who has published pocket Bible, Koran and a summary of Buddhism apart from Hinduism to establish the unity of all religious thought. He would rather use a postcard than an envelope.
When we first came to Poona in 1940 the neighbors kept their distance. A little thaw was first seen when someone met Kaka on the road when Kaka was returning home with a milk can. He said they had to learn from Gujarat the dignity of labour at least in the form of fetching one’s own milk. When Ba passed away a little known neighbour approached Kaka on the road and said “She was a real angel”. Ramesh Kulkarny next door told Bhai that he was feeling as if he had lost his own mother. C.P. Shukla remained friendly even though Kaka helped Gopalan get a job with Scindia Steam Navigation (where Gopalan’s Son got a job after him). Gopalan presented Kaka with the steel cot which he was using and Kaka appreciated his kind thoughts by using the cot till the last day. Similary, Keshubhai once got a decent walking stick for Kaka which he used as a symbol of love. Ba got a woollen “Bandi” stitched for Kaka which he kept till the last, though he did not use it as it was rough. Ashok once brought a sweater from abroad for Kaka, which also he used till the last-only imported thing he ever used.
Non-possession (Aparigraha) was one of the Ashram habits, so we gave away what we could do without. But Ba-Kaka went much further and gave up even the desires for wealth, comfort, respect or power. This is difficult but it came naturally to them. When Gandhiji suggested that he take over as the head of a Ladies’ college or Virchandbhai suggested that he take over as Principal at Virnagar (Samadhiala), he politely declined the offers. He did not write books, he created literature and this was more important to him. Ba-Kaka did not travel to attend their son’s marriage, to see them off when they went abroad or to receive them when they returned home after years abroad.
Kaka was not demonstrative by nature, but his love could be seen percolating in some instances. By mistake, my slip-on lock cum toy went into Kaka’s carry-on bag (potlu) and he carried the iron thing himself from day to day all over the country during the Harijan Tour. For years, he preserved my letters from London, which I read like a dream many years later. There were not many racks or cupboards for papers or books, so some of there would sit on a chair or a floor but Kaka could almost close his eyes and trace them. When Dhirajfaiba died, Kaka wrote something like “she lived for 32 years, 3 months and four days”.
We walked across the river Sabarmati in December 1925 from Shahi Bag to Satyagrah Ashram There was a small cart for the baggage and books (rekdo) and the three month old baby carried in hand was me. In 1935, the Chandrabhaga bridge was under repairs. So Ba-Kaka got down from the tonga and walked across the rivulet with 3 days old Ashok in their hands. Amba Faiba was requested to come over to help out. When Vikram was born, Vasantben was asked to help out and Manchha mami came on her own. When we went to New English School, we walked across the river Moola by the side of the Omkareshwar Cremation ground, where Ba was cremated years later. When crossing the Sabarmati in a rickshaw now I try to look at Dudheswar where Motiba was cremated. I also often see the arches of Ellis Bridge, where Kaka used to relax under the stars with his Gujarat College friends. When Amol-Amrita go to play soccer, I am reminded of the football which Kaka could kick over the hostel (Ahmedabad) building to the other side. When I go down towards Mahalaxmi, I partly follow Kaka’s footsteps on his daily walk up and down the hill. People used to ask him whether the climb hurts him. He said one should continue to walk inspite of joint pains so that the walking does not stop and the pain does not increase. Kaka used to walk to town in Naini Tal, Simla, Poona and elsewhere even over the mountains to get vegetables and grocery home in bags carried across the shoulders, which were stitched by Ba from coloured Khadi. Even in his young days, R G Saraiya used to call Kaka “ The young old man with the old old shoes”. Parmanand Kapadia once mentioned that Kaka had lost his original cheerful nature. But we saw it come back when he met Khushakhand Master or Ambavibapu. He even sent Bhai to Vankaner to learn from Khushalchand Master, who was Kaka’s teacher and friend. Even in his young days he walked to fetch buttermilk. Like Gandhiji Ba and Kaka believed in saving on oneself to be generous to others if necessary. He gave a book as a gift at weddings he attended. But if it was somebody needy, he would send cash even if he did not attend.
Times have changed but there is a thread of continuity in the midst of eternal evolution. Kaka was a Professor and so are Ashok and Anand. Ba wanted to learn Sitar and Jagumama brought one from Bombay for her; Amrita practices classical dance to the tune of music. Ba and Kaka used to sing Bhajans mostly from the Ashram Bhajanavali and a gramophone with a few records from Saigal or Jyotika Ray were the only durable items in the Poona household. Similarly, Saloni wants to listen to tapes of Gujarati and Hindi Songs when she is travelling in a car seat. Even Topeka sounds like Takula and Everest on Cumballa hill looks out like Gandhi Mandir in Govind Nagar. Kaka as a student was proud to sign as Valji Govindji Desai of Jetpur and was often banished from British India for insisting that he was from Jetpur.
Ba and Kaka had weak teeth. Gandhiji sent them to Dr. Baretto in Nagpur, who chose the easy option of brutally extracting all the teeth in one day and recommending a denture. Kaka could not reconcile himself to a denture and managed with his gums for more than 40 years. Ba, however, adjusted herself to a denture as to so many other things in life. Gandhiji wrote to Dr. Baretto when he sent Kaka-“ I am sending Professor Desai to you for treatment. But please do not be tempted by the word “professor” because he is a pauper like me. Ba was not keen on extraction but Gandhiji persuaded her.
Kaka had started a library in 1928 and called it Sannyasta Pustakalaya. The idea was that many should use what one possessed. It was left in the Ashram even after it was handed over to Harijan Sevak Sangh. It was shifted around without reference to Kaka and carelessly handled. On seeing this Kaka remarked that he would rather undergo physical violence than have his books mishandled. Kaka was stung by wasps who have more painful stings than bees and had made comfortable lives in the bookshelves. We all brothers have books as friends collected over the years. But it is becoming more and more difficult to look after them. Kaka edited Navajeevan and Harijan, Bhai edited Times of India and Illustrated Weekly and Ashok is editing the Business Standard, Sudarshan is editing ’50 years of Independence’. (Only I need help to edit this manuscript!)
Kaka’s students included R.G. Saraiya, the Sarabhai family, Umashankar Joshi, Sundaram and us. We brothers studied at home whenever Kaka was not away in prison or elsewhere and Kaka taught us only for a couple of hours and only after the age of 7. I went to formal school only when I was 14 years old, was slightly older than other boys in my class. We all were trained to make ourselves much better than average students. Even when he was in school, Kaka spotted an error in the printing of Bhandarkar’s Sanskrit Primer and pointed it out to his teacher. His teacher thought this to be impudence and punished Kaka for it. Kaka was keen that we should be educated and with less financial difficulties then he had gone through. So his only “saving” was an insurance policy for Rs 2000 which was supposed to cover our education. Sundarji Bapuji’s early death had convinced Kaka of the need for insurance. Kaka believed that real education consisted of not only knowing one’s subjects but knowing human relations. He insisted that when we go to college we live in the hostel to learn community living and to pick and choose lifelong friends. Kevalram Joshi, Devchandbhai A.Shah and Virchand Punachand Shah & Swami Anand were school friends. Some of them like S.P. Shah ICS were loyal government servants or businessmen like Shri Hemendra Divenji but the friendship carried on into the next generation also. Kaka liked to be a host and even if somebody came to the front window or room and went away after meeting Kaka, he would often get an automatic invitation for lunch. Ba would be informed in due course and she would gladly rise to the occasion at the shortest of notice. This was also the situation when Motabhabhu and Prabhaben came to live with us on an apparently permanent basis in Poona. The theory was that we had decided not to be rich enough to be generous donors but we should at least give and take. We automatically bequeathed our used coats to each other – Sudarshan carried my jacket to U.K.- or borrowing or later, buying books secondhand for our studies. Similarly if there was no known person to stay with at a new place, we would stop at a Dharmshala as in Agra. Conversely unknown people like an underground worker from Bihar in the 1942 movement came and lived with us. When we went to Simla, Naini Tal or Almora, our cousins and uncles came and lived with us and we missed them when they left. Jamnalal Bajaj sent his son Kamal Nayan to Almora to stay with us and study from Kaka. Kaka was fully informed about thinking round the world and bought and sent for a copy of Dale Carnegie’s “How to win friends and influence people” for us to read and understand. He read, John O’London’s Weekly, Listener, Reader’s Digest, National Geographic Magazine, Times Literary Supplement and others such as the one edited by Bernard Mcfadem. People in prison with him wondered how he could read so fast when he appeared to be browsing; once, when asked without notice, he could even refer back to a particular sentence on a particular page. Kaka encouraged Bhai not only to attend Sardar Prithvisingh’s (Swami Rao) fitness camp in Malad but also sent him to Delhi all by himself for the first time to test Dr. Agarwal’s clinic to improve eyesight without glasses around 1940.
Once Sudarshan walked into a pile of dry neem leaves burnt every morning in fall. He did not realize that there were live embers under the ashes and burnt his feet. When Kaka was informed he wrote back to say that he was distressed. He must have worried when Ba fell ill or could not see Bhai till he was one year old. But he never mentioned such things. When he dedicated his last book to Ba, he did cite a quotation to say that one is destined to give most pain to those whom one loves most and one realizes this last. Ba also would first think of Kaka’s comfort and feelings and be guided by them.
Not only was Ambavibapu close to Kaka but so was Babubhai for his quiet devotion to the family. When Sudarshan was struck by serious smallpox, he asked Babubhai to come to Poona to help out. Kaka was arrested before Hariichhaben was married. So Kaka wrote to Ambavibapu to come to Ashram before the marriage and help out Ba with the event – which he did.
Kaka preferred speech and writing to be clear yet concise. What he spoke or wrote was literary quotations and no waffle. Kaka could remember events which he saw when he was 11/2 to 2 years old. Most people remember events after their fourth year. I remember events after my fifth year but I have lost the chronological order.
Ba-Kaka were happy to live all by themselves in Poona rather than elsewhere with the children. It became increasingly difficult to stay alone, so Vikram decided to return to Poona for his master’s degree. It was a lonely life but Ba was used to it. She made friends wherever she went. She would ask us not to bring any fruits from outside, as the lady coming here to sell fruits/vegetables had a family to support including a husband. After Ba passed away, it again fell upon Vikram to keep the poona house alive for Kaka. Getting out of the Indian Administration Service and look for a job in a rubber factory in Khadki instead was a decision only Vikram could take.
When the message for Ba’s last illness came, we asked Herekar to check, who confirmed that it was serious; but still had to open the front door to any visitor. We reached two days later and Ba was admitted to a so called Nursing Home near Café Good Luck. She died peacefully when Kaka, Usha and I were present and Kaka realized that her slow breathing had stopped.
She could not be revived. Her last words were to Manubhai whether he had taken his morning glass of milk. Actually, Bhai had come straight from the station after a night’s journey. By the time Bhai reached home for his milk the news of her death came through on Ramesh Kulkarny’s phone and Bhai rushed back without finishing his milk. All morning he had spent getting blood for transfusion from the Red Cross. The heart stopped soon after the transfusion. Sudarshan, Ashok and Vikram came soon after. Her ashes went to Alandi and Asthi to Hardwar.
Kaka passed away on the longest night. Luckily, Ashok, Vikram and Bhai were in Delhi. Like Ba he passed away without any struggle in sleep following Ba after 13 long years. He was also 13 years older than Ba, who married at the age of 13. Kaka’s last visit to a hospital was to one Ghole road after Ba’s passing away. He then told us that he would never like to be in a hospital during the last stage with tubes all around to delay death. Nature took care of his last wishes. Long ago, he wrote an article called “Maano Mrutyuno Mahotsav”.
Kaka had surgery for piles around 1930 at the KEM Hospital and Ba took us by tram car from Grant Road to Parel. His second surgery was at the Sassoon Hospital around 1946 probably also for piles. Ashok also went to Sassoon Hospital in 1947 when he fell from a tree and broke his arm. Other accidents were serious but taken care of at home, such as a car wheel going over Sudarshan’s foot, Vikram’s falling into the water tank in Joshi’s compound in Poona and a log rolling on to Kaka’s leg on Deccan Gymkhana. Kaka’s last surgery was for cataract at home in Delhi, but most of his later years he read mostly with one eye.
By trial and error Kaka used some food as preventive medicine and other food was avoided like the slow poison that it could be for Kaka. His longevity inspite of health shattered by long years in British prisons was a miracle possible by the following rules he followed 1) Reduce the number, quantity and frequency of the foods that he took 2) Breakfast was only liquid such as milk, & hot water with honey 3) Lunch was rotli or bajra rotla softened in milk or dal water for the gums to chew. The vegetable was made easy to cook and was usually dudhi and bhaji followed by a banana or mossambi 4) Dinner was similar, lighter and early. He avoided liquids in the evening to reduce having to get up at night.
Being an introvert by nature, he did not speak up or get angry. He would express his dissent only if he was asked. He had full control over his mind and body. He knew the weaknesses of all around him, but he forgave them. He never asked for anything to be cooked or prepared for him in any particular way, When Ba passed away Kaka made it clear that he was against religious ceremonies, fasts, uthamanas or besanas. We followed his wishes when Kaka passed away.
Ba’s only expressed wish was that Kaka’s books which were out of print, should be reprinted. Bhai and Sudarshan have managed this.
VG Desai Family 